... just dnt know anymore..

freaks me out.. gets on my nerve.. loosing it..
gonna loose it soon feel it coming..
but i dnt want it wnt be d damn fucking same...hurts damn lot.. pains so much ...
did i actually sitdown down by myself for 3 fucking hours .. wen u down n things run doen ur head u just aint urself and this freaks me out so fucking much ..things aint on my side..
its so damn wavering..yet i try to find solace in a d sole thing that gives my life a meaning.
but i fear of losing that one thing as well..
hurts so fucking bad.. aches ..damn much .. never felt dis way..
so bad everything around u seem to be going down:s
nothing makes sense..coz all u think abt hurts u bad..and all u do is sit n cry ...
cant even reach out for wat i want.. it aint there.. got to wait for it..
yet ..feel so damn threatned:s;s never felt so bad.. so damn bad like losing something..someone..

so damn mixed up..sometimes even though aint there and u know deep itself it cant be .. it hurts then be..sometimes u cant get a say on ur feelings and the way it works on..
u feel lost ..lost among midst..that blok ur path to d promised land.. yet it requires faith and courage to pass through it..
i got both deep inside i know..yet it hurts so bad..wen ur so damn far away..