life-through my eyes

back to blogging :P

2008-06-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

well guess c a la mode ;) been ages since i was last here guess now ill b able to get back here a bit more often .. ill say ill try to blog everyday but that could b dangerous if i cant make it :p
well its more of a need i should say .. that ill blog just not to get in a vicious cycle ;)

i know very often my lastest post though have been kind of vey senti :( sad ones.. guess these are the times when you feel more the need to write to clear inside .. to make some move and space..to evacuate the pain .. the gloom inside..

so watch out.. ill try to update everyday ;)

if i wasnt what i am .. would i then b the one you wanted .. and hoped for ...

2008-04-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

do you sometimes feel that all your existence doesn not hold any damn importance.. no matter what you might do .. no matter how hard you might try .. yet
it is found not enough ..
never was it enough nor will it be enough ... for there will always be someone better off than you ...
and youll always fall behind.. not enough close..
never will you be accepted for what you are nor be rewarded and apreciated for the effort you have given .. rather youll b judged , youll b compared to others... a fault here a fault there.. there will always be something where youll fall short of.. and not match what they want from you..
in the process to be what they want you to be
you fall , you get bruised , you cry your heart out.. youll bleed .. but yet it wont be enough again.. you erase yourself out .. cut yourself wipes your identity to mould yourself to there image .. but again not enough..
sometimes then when all of them hammers it back to you that it is not enough .. you donnot find any other way then run .. run away ..
coward you might say but then sometimes being a coward seems the best way out..
tonite i stand and ask myself the question does it even matter if i exist or not.. will it make a difference if i suddenly disappear.. will they even notice I aint there.. i fear to listen to the answer for my heart tells me NO it wont make a difference..
i sit down and ponder.. cry my heart out.. keep bleeding inside do i do it? i close my eyes .. let the last tear drop roll down my cheeks .. a shattered soul .. an aimless self.. a nobody .. i stand up .. the urge to end even more ..

why cant they for once accept me as i am .. why do i need to b a reflection on another.. why do i feel like the mere medium for them to achieve their end.. over and over again am reminded of the sacrifices they did .. over and over agaiin they remind me of the debts i owe them .. again and again i feel helpless.. lost .. confused.. shattered.. torn into pieces .. they see their sole plight .. and my state is left in the dark.. again i shall shut myself up in the dark .. thoughtss runing down my head .. screaming deep inside end it all.. just end it all.. these echoes might finally be a reason fot them for once to see me and only me ...

turmoil in her mind...

2007-12-28T10:27:00.000-08:00

shes been having questions running down her head for a while.questions , about life, about her life, about the future .. about the past.. about the present.
she sat down by her window looking at the kids playing outside.. she saw a young girl .. of about 14 she was laughing and smiling so brightly .. the joy of life could b seen from her face..looking at that girl She went back in her past..she was once carefree..like that girl like a bird .. she was inexperienced from the manacles of life..unaware of the future pains and troubles.. she saw life like a road full of rose petals ...
now she had blossomed into a fine young lady ..yet her life wasn't as she thought it would be ,,
she had observed that the pain of the past..were good source of inspiration

it gave her a sense of direction.. anger and despair had become productive feelings ..made her feel powerful ..

but smtime those very emotions were killing her making her die a silent death..she felt imprisoned within herself.. in her thoughts that kept her in bondage. in bondage not to break through and rebel .. in bondage to close up on herself and live with pain inside.

she had dreams, desires yet all she could do was to brush aside all that. she wasn't allowed to let them out.. she would b tagged as the most ungrateful creature ever. this society around her wanted her to live only for them ..her life she had no hand ..no right over it.. she was living her life like a prisoner. each passing minutes and events of her life was an ordeal for her .. constantly making her cry tears of blood ..as she asked herself who she really was.. what her life was really meant to be.

she was living a dual life.. a battle going on in her mind within her.. and a smile she had to make up for the world outside. what worst death to die than dying within.. being suffocated within your own mind.. trapped and helpless..

but ironically though that same prison allowed her to wander around.. if there was a place where she was free to move even though it was in thoughts.. she could..
she was often lost in her thoughts... thoughts about the way she would have liked her life to be.. but they were mere thoughts.. thoughts that were so often shattered as she was brought back to reality ..

she tried find her hope .. her light at the end of the tunnel.. but nothing provided her that security.. all she she wished for sometimes was death.. but then death as well didnt want any of her. she had seen death so close ..that the fear of death left her indiferent. infact it had left her like a walking corpse.. a soul living just becoz this body of hers had breaths still going on.. and nothing more. she had lost interest in everything.

she was now living a life that was not hers anymore.. a mere stereotype of survival..
giving up all signs of hope .. or wish of any kind..she had left all.. was had become that withered leaf from that gigantic tree.. that fell to the ground and was lifted and thrown around by the winds of time .. she let herself go to where the winds led her..
life was nothing much for her anymore. she sat there by that same window.. blank.. looking out at the bare sky..all she managed to do in this whirlpool of emotions going on in her mind was cry... tears rolled down her cheek as she felt her throat tightened.. her heart shrink and pain .. and a desire to let go of herself ..
she wanted to just jump in the emptiness below her .. to fall.. and fall..in an emptiness.. she wanted to feel that sensation of lightness as she would close her eyes and let the burden of this body fall..

but unfortunately the bang on the door brought her back to this reality she was living in.. she closed her eyes and the tear drop tickled down her cheeks.. a swift movement of her hands and she brushed it away .. and answered YEs ..and went back to her nightmare.. a nightmare she was having with open eyes..

Her life..was nothing..she was nothing.. sometimes she thought whether she was really alive and existent :s or she was just a thought lost in the head of a mad person.. or was she herself mad ..

now ive fallen in love with this song :)

2007-12-27T22:51:00.000-08:00

c le temps d vacances, fun is in the air .. kids running around ..
its the time where you tend to forget all your worries and let go of it all .. all pressures and then just become in a way like the kids around you ..
well having my nephews and small cousins around this week and all i found myself doing was sit back and watch all cartoons with them ..
and the most silly thing i found myself doing was get down to the floor and dance on all those kids songs like le papa pingouin , titou or nana banana ..
but these days wats rocking the house is this song " petite fleur de vanille oh yeah mamamia .. dis song rocks..
gets you on your feet moves you around .. chages your mood .. just like that..
well it gets me high .. just thought of sharing it with u guys .. hope u like it as much as i do ;)

arrrrrrrr!!!! shitty laptop :(

2007-12-23T12:18:00.000-08:00

back a la civilisation apres longtp ..well its gon ab for some time more..
know havent been present lately just that my shitty laptop finds the most " perfect" timings to start doig c caprices ek moi :/ :.
ey dir ke c can jen nai le plu besoin. gota project to submit in jan .. work plans to make and organise for work in jan ek c just maintenant ke sa trouve a me lache grrrrr ek can mo dir mo soy persone pa croire !!!! c pa une preuve sa :(

well one thing came out clear is that ITS FUCKING HARD TO STAY WITHOUT NET N MY LAPTOP 11111111 ththose were hell of days that went by , i just didnt know wat to do of my time and yes 1 confirm it am addicted to the net ;s all i found myself doing was roaming lazily around in the hous i was either eating chocolate and junk food , watching tv , sleeping and back to eatig kunk food !!!!! helll and i was like someone in need of his drug ;s
but well life wasnt all bad .. i cant b that dramatic [ though many am sur would c ha ha ha la plus grande pessimist du monde ] yeah i admit that as welll and h most negative thinking person that can exist on earth mais only wen it is about me ... coz well am kind of dead sure that only bad happens to me .. when i comes to my part of things its always bad .. the only good thing i gues that happened to me and i guess god was quiet kind with me on dis one .. d fois je me dis mem kil a realise ke javais ke de la merde that is y he gave me the kackpot to make up for all of the mess.. he gave me a best friend without whom my ilfe would b all dark muahh gro bizuu HUN .. thnx for all :)
well likewise jv pa d net .. life was all :( and gloomy .. but yesterday i had the most wonderful of evenings..
u know that kind of thing that happens and you are bound to say guess its the magic of xmas working!!!!!!!! well it was one of those.. fairytale like.. went out for diner and had the most wonderful of evenings... well its gona b the most perfect thing that has happend since this year .. enfin one of the many .. all linked to and its all hapeneing due to this very one person bbf :) so this post goes out for him .. to the most perfect best friend ever .. who makes up for eveything ive ever needed of wish for in life.. thnx for being so perfectly mine ..;)

well sorry again ppl ... will b back soon...but in case am not well
MERRY XMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008... god bless all the best , enjoy a max.. mais come di ma maman .. amuser mais pa abuser so cheers... loads of love and hugs to u all .. c ya soon :)

mind test from infi ! :)

2007-12-14T10:50:00.001-08:00

was browsing infi's blog and i saw this mind test on his blog and thought iwould try it to. and geezz its very much accurate like infi says ;s

give it a try if u guys got some minutes to spent :)

so heres mine :

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

ESFP
outgoing, social, group oriented, dislikes science fiction, does not like to be alone, feels at ease around others, conventional, talkative, modest, does not like to be alone, good at getting people to have fun, values relationships and family over intellectual pursuits, open, likes to dance, spontaneous, underachieving, at times unprepared, emotional, values organized religion, suggestible, at times easy to impress, not analytical, disorganized, prone to crying, likes to be center of attention, happy, trusts others, can be influenced more by others than self, can be touchy feely, feels the emotions of others, likes teamwork, guided by moods

favored careers:
public relations manager, school teacher, radio dj, customer service, emt, hair stylist, event coordinator, pediatric nurse, child care worker, makeup artist, personal trainer, public relations, human resources, travel agent, massage therapist, physical therapist, interior decorator

disfavored careers:
bookstore owner, author, researcher, painter, artist, scientist, philosophy professor, art director, computer programmer, freelance writer, history professor, web developer, paleontologist, book editor, cia agent, aerospace engineer, archeologist, webmaster

c comme un vide .. :(

2007-12-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

life goes on .. evryone busy with there own routine .. slowly and gradually we lose touch with the ones who once made up the most important part of our lives.
friends we've grown up with .. al scattered around the globe .. kept away by distance and time. when you get back after a while for an event you then realise and laugh on the moments you had once shared .. memories of those days where you all were together..
this week had the wedding of a close friend .;; grew up together ..and then he flew off to aussie ..
yesterday had a diner with all friends who cam up specially for the wedding.. gathered around the table laughing and joking reminds you of the times we were at tuitions together .. the fun and laughs we had. the bond we shared.
we now stand at a cross road where we all have got a life of our own and have been seperated.. you then stand and think .. well C la vie ..

you then think about that person whom you had once caled your best friend .. your best pal .. that bond you were supose to have shared .. those intimacy .. those secrests shared .. your confident you knows you inside out . the days of kindergarden .. the days of high school .. your high school flirts .. and love stories a leau de rose.. awww memories memories .. makes you sigh and somehow cause a lil pain ..

but then you remember at the end about that one person who makes a difference in your life .. that one person who stood the test of time and still wakes hand in hand with you .. and you praise hats off to that friendship..
you then realise the true meaning of that best friend .. the one wo completes you .. the one who gives life a different turn ..

well guess ive been a little senti since last night thinking about my friends.. about my best friend my better half whom i should b thankful to coz he really completes me and guess that why hes my best friend.. we talked about his gfs.. we talked about my bfs.. we laughed at our silly mistakes and we smiled on finding each other and having each other..
to you my best friend.. the one without whom life wouldnt b the same ..

With you, it's all about
voiceless communication-
always knowing exactly what to say,
but never actually having to say it,
coz you say it before.

When no one seems to be listening,
you hear.
When I am hurt but don't show it,
you know.
When I turn away to hide my tears,
you see.
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone,
you understand.

Your eyes follow me,
and I know you're there always for me.
You flash your magical, healing smile my way,
and I know everything will be all right again.

You know everything there is to know about me.
You know what worries me,
what keeps me up at night,
and what shames me so badly
that I can't share it with anyone.
Most importantly, though,
none of those things bother you.

You've restored my faith in people
and proved that there is a thing
called true friendship.

thnx for all .. ;)

weddings !!

2007-12-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

this week been one full of weddings . now am sitting back and thinking gosh y is evryone getting married . suring these past 2 weeks had 2 friends from high school getting maried my very own cousin and tomorrow one of my gdfriends

well wn i think about it i feel scared smtimes iiiiiiiii seriously it demands great courage to actualy get maried , the responsibility the engagment it brings along..
its really fun to attend of to be part of the crew. more if its one of your close relatives getting married then its fun fun and fun .. i had one last week and god knows how much fun i had.
meeting cousins after long dancing the whole nite out ... dressing up for the occasion like its the main event of the year...

hihi dad was reaaly going mad and shouting :
mo ti prefer ena 10 garcon ki 1 tifi :P !!
i bet he had had to b my driver for the whole week bringing me to and through :P
well for this wedding i had adventure me well guess that how i should call it to dress up in a saree and do my hair updo .. i usually have it down but this time when all cousins were all doing updos i had to b in the crew as well :P

but seriously when i think about the person who is actually getting maried, i freak out personaly coz though i might b wat my grandma would call ' in ler pou marier ' :/ :/ i still feel like a kid ..
a teenager of 15/16 who still wants to b carefree and childish.

somtimes such situation zaps you back to reality and ur coming future. when i see all my friends either getting maried or engaged i feel scared smtimes thinkng it will b my turn soon [ if it had been for my granma i might have already been a mother by now :/ :/ ]
but well wel ..guess its normal ..or is it not :S
i better stop thnking about it for the time being and enjoy myself :P
but well at the end of the day weddings were , are and will remain magical moments .. that really lifts u from ur daily routine for some special moments...

A Child..

2007-12-10T00:09:00.000-08:00

do we sometime stop and look around.. look and notice the fate of some kids around us..see how a child is really treated.. how much pain is inflicted upon him ..

POVERTY

A child...

this is far too complex for poetry
far too inhumane for tears and cries
what is that fault of yours that makes you cry
day and night?
is it being a child ?
fragile and helpless...
A child,
that shadow without a form and meaningless
whose existence is wiped off by this cruel world
and extingushed like that cheap cigarette stub
A child,
that dumb victim caught in the vicious and endless
circle of needs..
to end up wondering in the corridors of poverty
that chapter which is forgotten after having been read
on stormy days and nights...
i know not what is that in your eyes
Child,
which says stop
i know not..
i only know that you are a branch of this cruel world
Abandoned, shattered and lonely
Oh world , arise ! for you too have once been that
Child...
Arise and hold that Child in both your palms
for this is where he should reside
you have been his enemy dragging him through
harships and sufferings
Now become his friend and help him gather
broken pieces of his life
promise that all that has passed will not recur
nor will you slice him
No more wil you throw him in garbage-cans
Only love and soothing words would be on your lips
Arise Oh world! lift up from that dust and embrace
This New child of yours..
for after the storm sunshine is meant to be ...

JOURNEY DOWN MEMORY LANE….

2007-11-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

smthing written very long ago .. but posting it now ;) guess c 1 coup blues ;)

She sits by her window looking outside the snow falling down like cotton balls being pushed by the howling winds, moving from here to there as it touched the ground. She sat there looking through the window, a pen in her hand , a white paper in front of her… she stared at the paper thoughts running down her head.
Story...what story should she write...a story that will take birth from her pen and mean nothing else but the fruit of her imagination... She who has been writing wonderful stories of happy endings and whose own life never reflected her stories…
She sat there looking at that piece of paper...the pot of black ink in from of her and the pen still there in the trembling hands…
This ink which once put on this white paper would be the beginning of yet another story. This time looking at this white paper shimmering under the light of the burning candle in front of her no words came out. The only marks that tainted the whiteness of the paper were the tears rolling down her cheeks that went crushing down on that paper.
The black ink was no more the medium for her imagination to be born out as a story …this time her tears wrote down the story of her soul...
The white shimmering paper now bore the seeds of the tears of pearl … this was the story of her soul…not her imagination...

The tears rolling down glittered like pearls drops on her pink pale cheeks…each drop that went crashing down on the piece of paper was the witness of events of the life that meant so much for her…
A flashback in childhood reminded her of the loneliness that ate her up. The days she spent alone within the four walls of the room, the long endless nights where she hugged her pillow and talked to the shadows on the wall. The friends that she made with the Teddy bear, the Tweety and Winnie Pooh, who even now sit next to her table lamp near to her bed.
Those days that turned her in a quite different being amidst this ruthless world. She grew up on her own, learning from her mistakes and moving forward by leaning on herself without anyone. Yet she find peace and solace within these very four walls, as they were the witness to each and every second of her existence…in spite of being hard and cold, of being in different, of being lifeless they were there always… creating her own personal world and guarding her from the rain and storm outside.

A small smile draws itself on this wearing face of hers, as she thinks of this new friend she made... He was there…even from before she was even born. But she took time to recognise Him, to believe in Him and to trust Him. And today He stands as the pinnacle of her life and whole existence…. As she travels down the memory lane she meets Love …
A love that made her get out of these four walls of her world. The four walls were now too small to encompass her and her new world. She needed more space to expand and grow… for she was no more a child...she had grown up into a fine young lady. New aspirations, new dreams, … a brand new world where she finally thought to have seen the light at the end on this tunnel she has been treading on since her birth …

The light was bright and so powerful… so shimmering and glittering, that the obscurity of the world felt shy and gradually started backing out to give place to this light. It was so warm, so attracting and so fiery … that she was automatically driven to it. Her friend was there walking by her side as usual… He followed her in this brand new world … step by step …. She was blinded by this light. never in her life before she had seen such a beautiful thing… never had she felt such a warm … she was so mesmerised that she now felt an urge to run towards that light that was calling her at the end of this road of hers… so mesmerised and hypnotised was she that she tried to skip some steps…. She no more walked down that road but tried to run down it. She slipped many times, she fell many times but yet she stood up again and ran to it …. Her friend was there again holding her hand and helping her to stand up … However slowly whispering in her ears of dangers ahead, of obstacles and huddles ahead… yet she ignored it and kept on running…because she had a belief .. she had a faith that had started to grow inside of her … she had grown up in that fine red rose… she was no more that bud. But was that bud blossoming into that velvet Rose whose petals were opening up slowly … who now had thorns down its branch... thick and piercing.
But She had forgotten that this bright light at the end... so warm from a distance could be burning hot when near. Nevertheless Her friend stood there this time not by her side...but following her like her shadow... if She had decided to run down this slippery road then so be it … But He did not let go ….
She closed her eyes pressing so hard to hold her tears back but they flowed down, draining her makeup… she held the pen in her hand so tight it broke in two... one end pricking her hand and a drop of blood slowly forming up… a tear felt just then tickling down her cheeks in swept by on her red lips…as it joined the drop of blood….and they both went splashing down on the white paper…
The whiteness, the purity of the paper was no more… it was now stained with the redness of her blood … it was no more imagination of the black ink… it was the pain and reality of her soul being drawn out with her blood … the nuance of the red on the paper was ironically magnificent.. The lines that were drawn... The splashing spots of red and tear marks… created a new texture...a new colour … from the original whiteness of the paper…
Her eyes slowly rose up from this natural work of art to admire the nature outside through her window…
Toc... toc...toc... rain drops crushing against her window pane… and rolling down to be embraced by the ground. She looked at that ground who moments before that accepted the snow in its arms… hard. Cold... Now accepts the heavy drops of raining pouring down... Yet without a single ouuuf… or sigh… It embraces in and allows it to penetrate her core…
She closes her eyes as she breaths in deeply this perfume of fog and mist building up … this humidity of the rain drops mixing up with the snow and the ground…. Once more she flies back in time as she remembers of the scars and the fire that burnt her … this new whirlpool of emotions caused her to brush aside the pot of ink … and the black ink went splashing down on the white paper… this sight of blackness further brought her to those painful memories…

Yes she had run to the end of the tunnel….. eager to embrace that new light and warmth... and ignoring the whispers of that Friend of hers. In spite of feeling the turmoil of that pain within … in spite of feeling her heart being ripped apart and torn into pieces …. She smiles a cute innocent smile… so innocent and true that her dimples give this death sight of hers and new life….
For she is proud of this pain and scar… for it reminds her of her hastiness of life… and allows her to step in yet a bigger sphere of life… from that blossoming rose .. She is now that sole opened up rose that stand proudly in the pricking bush... with fresh dews on her velvet skin... like tears of pearl shimmering upon the rising of the sun…

Yes...she stands in the garden of life… proud... and awaiting for the gardener to pick her up and show her around. Yet life is such that … she stands there… passing through another cycle of rain …and snow…
Nevertheless she stands true to herself and stands there… still keeping up her freshness… some of her velvet petals crushed by the winds… yet the drops of dew and rain that slowly roll down Her... reveals the exceptional redness of her petals … the smoothness that she still keeps within… the magnificence of her reason to be…
Her friend still around as the thorn guarding her yet as usual…

Hmmmmmmm a sigh of relief...is heard… as she opens up her eyes this time letting go of all her pains and letting flow the tears within... she no more hold them back ..For she wants to be released … these tears go running down her chin and as they fall down on the paper they wipe off the black ink... and reveal a white spot again…

The piece paper is now a glittering under a fusion of new colours… red... white...black…. as it tells Her story… the story of her soul…

Her eyes are blessed with a wonderful sight through her window… in the mist and fog of a falling sun … she admires the beauty of a feeble yet wonderful rainbow… this time her face is brightened up with a smile that comes from her heart … as she looks through the window… she leaves her broken pen .. And wipes off her tears of pearl…
For Her friend did not let her down… He was still there... hard and firm...guarding her eternal beauty... as she wore the crown of beautiful butterfly… at the break of a new day…

This scene of magnificence and bliss attracted the eyes of rare gardener… a gardener who found Her beauty even though her velvet skin...now started to turn brownish... a gardener who immortalised Her … and gave her back her due value as he took Her along with Him…
Cutting her from her pricking bush and loneliness … he cut her just beneath that first thorn... He saw her beauty with her withering petals… her marked branch...
A gardener who made her the stand out of every other flower in this garden…

As she slows down memory lane …. She now has a bright hearty smile…. Glittering eyes... that tell of this new story… eyes full of hope again…as this rainbow announces a new beginning …
She now stands on Reality street... as she turns back again to admire Memory lane… a last twinkle roll down her cheeks… this time not ending on the piece of paper… but in the palm of her Gardener… this last drop shines so bright under the dying candle light… as it spells the wonders of eternal Friendship she shared with her FRIEND… and the magic of Love… with her Gardener…

She looks down at her piece of paper… what was a glittering piece of white paper... is now the canvas of a colourful journey…lines... spots of splashes.. Wrinkles... of white, red, and black…fusions and nuances of the colours…are what she wrote this time…

She blows the light of the candle... with just one wish in her heart for her Gardener …and a request to her Friend…
“TO HAVE THIS AGAIN, JUST THIS, JUST THE ONCE MORE, I WOULD SINK BELOW AUTUMNAL EARTH AND PLACE MY RIGHT HAND IN YOURS LIKE A SHADOW…”

when ur heart burst out and u just wana say stop am fed up !!

2007-11-23T04:10:00.000-08:00

someitmes caught in dilemas do u stand at a crossroad and ask
should stay.. should i go .. do you wana stand still this one time and shout
STOP !!! am just fed up !!

ive had enough of listening .. its now MY turn of talking.. when youve been listening all the time and then this last drop thats causes it to overflow just gros crashing.. then its hard to take and digest... and these tears and pain held too long deep inside.. now forces it way out to explode..

you wandered in the dark..
your shadow being your sole companion ..
you wander in the endless roads..
lonely.. shattered..
tears pouring out..in the light of the moon your tears shimmering down ur cheeks..
ever felt so damn lonely ...lost and confused
lifeted your feet to step out f the dark and venture in the light but yet
take back your step with fear .. fear that the dark might follow you and that there might actually be no light but only darkness...

once more yoou step back once more you swallow your tears ..
you take back that sound that had come out... ou look ahead from where you are .. with a hope yet in your heart
.. hope that tomorrow will b better and the sun would brighten your day ..
yet you see but a dark gloomy sky ..
and even if you know your wait is futile and pointless .. you wait.. coz that is the only thing left for you to do ..

tag by Infi :P

2007-11-05T03:23:00.000-08:00

Mind a tag?

Ps. You are tagged!

- Top 5 quotes/Lines
1. ztm chou /prav / bb :P
2. smile coz it hides everything ;)
3. euh smthing am always saying : euh mo cav demande 1 zaf :D
4. miracles exist because i got u in my life [ to prav ;)]
5. apres c plus :?

- 5 Things I'd Love To Do Before I Die
1. make my parents proud
2.hug n kiss each and every single person who make up my life and tell them thnx for being there
3. sit on the beach with prav like the first time ;)
4.be a married and b a wife :)
5. b a mum :P

- 5 Things I will Not Do Even If It Kills Me
1. dir a kelkune en particulier c 4 verites mem si je meurt denvi de le fer :P
2. let down a friend
3. kifer ena 5 mo nepli coner ki pou ecrire :?

- 5 Things I want to Say And Never Will
1. hehe this one would b the same as the forst one in the previous question :P
2. euh rien dotre je di toujours tou jsuis franche :?

- 5 Things I Do When I’m Away From The Public
1. dream :P
2. listen and pay atention to each n every single details [ koi jsuis observatrice .. impe curieuse osi jadmet :blush: ]
3. got loads of things running down my head its a buzz in there :?
4. fix my hair :? impe em alerte :P
5. do my nails :?

- 5 Things I’ll Make You Wish You Didn’t Do, If You
Did
1. hurt anyone close to me and ull regret it :P
2. this applies mostly to my lil couz : touch any of my things and damage it ur as good as dead :/ :?
3. talk about me behind my back :/
4. test my patience and good manners :/ theres a limit to evrything :P
5. cocin mo bb :blush: jsuis impe em posesif :p

euh jaV oublier mes victims :P
donc am gonna tag : gemz , monisha , morina , morphounet , ek khevina

tic tic tic .. she heard the clock move yet .. she cant find some better time ....

2007-09-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

tears flow down her cheeks .. one of the so many ..
she sits down and contemplates the vast sky that opens up in front of her.. its vast and appealing..
as if the sky is waiting for her her arms wide open .. asking her to come and lay in her lap up there..
how she wished she could fly up there . and harbour herself in the vast arena that opens up in front of her..
she felt so lost and disturbed down here.. inspite of the crowd around she could no longer find her way .. she felt so alienated..
the people around were her own.. yet she felt estranged from them.. how could he treat her like that.. like a mere piece of trash.. all that she did was found not enough.. never was it enough ... nor will it ever be..
she could take out her life and lay it by his feet .. and all he would do would kick it far away as say is that all ??

wat else could she give to him.. he dedicated her whole life and existence to him.. always followed his will and desires.. her life was mere aplication to his decisions.. she lifed for him.. never she opposed to his impositions..yet she was found to be unobedient .. and the worst kid ever existed..
her heart bleeds.. yet she has no more tears to let go..
she would cry for what.. for whom.. no one would even care to look back and wipe away her tears..
she sits back and realises that.. she was a mere puppet to b used wen needed and cast away wen fed up with .. a punching ball from time to time to take in without a word all punches.. and blows.. thrown at her.. without any second thought..
words are mightier than swords... it is said.. yes they are his words cut and slayed her .. marking her each n every time with scars for life...each one deeper and more poignant...
yet he didnt see how much she was hurt.. no he didnt see nor would he see .. all he saw was his vision, his thoughts.. his way ..

she didnt have a say , if she did ... she was digraced.. he was the law .. she was a mere subservient soul..
nameless, clueless... who existed only if he decided.. and this he made her feel it all way through ...
the few times she tried to oppose n voice out .. she was made to shup up.. her voice died within .. all she managed were unsuccessful attempts..
attempts to free herself away...
attempts were many .. yet none led her to freedom...
this time the way out was near... she felt it come..
that was the only wya out.. the sole solution to end it all...
ashes ashes we burn to...
ashes ahes she saw her end in ...
it was the seed planted.. now.. growing slowly with the pain she harboured in ..
tears slowly poured down her cheeks...this time it was the end.. they were tears of blood...

things that dnt ever change..

2007-08-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

wow been a while since i last blogged guess i was damn busy ek well .. for some time havent had time.. caught up in things of life..

am back coz i cant really sort out with myself wen i got loads going onin mymind.. and right now am in sucha state where i need to get it out or else ill burst ... might even break down..
d fois things happend and yet to have faith and take it out and then forget everythig and leave it behind and walk ahead again ...but then how many a times to you get the same faith and the same strengh to walk ahead..
guess am starting to loose it.. starting to let go .. why does it have to happend that wen ur happy there has to b a tear round the corner.. enfin bref.. cpo des fois g limpresion ke je matire d ennuis seul.. d fois g bien envi d laisse tou ek d just men alerr.. mais c pa osi simple ke ha .. life aint as easy .. i think of those to whom my absence might mean smthing..and then i get caught back again ...
it aint that easy .. it never was...
walk down the road of llife.. many a times having round abouts and being redirected ... sometimes meaning up with accidents .. by ur own faults .. sometimes due to others.. yet you drive down that road .. to meet but ur end ..!! thats the only truth of life..
well je me sense ferme dan une cage c jours si .. wen i was away i longed for this warmth and afection of familly .. now i hate it all.. its sucha mixture of feelings that i Know Nomore where to head to .. wat to think..
y doesnt everything hapen like u plan .. y cant u direck ur own life.. if only i could.. well mo coner at the end of the day am gona say i like my life the way it is coz it builts up my character..but wat abt the moment am going through it then...!!!
jsusi enerver.. jsusi pa calme du tou la .. ek g envi de tou ecraser...!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
lavie est si compliker d fois... kon sy retrouve plus.. tou le monde se prend pou letre parfect car nule lest vraiment !!.. alors pourkoi me permetre de dir a mon voisin dagir autrement ..
pourkoi decider de lavenir de kelkun dotre.. jen ai maree..d fois de cete habitude..
ey bof a la fin
on c bien ke les zanfant nont jamais le dernier mots ..ey bien merde .. je men fou pa mal !!

guess d fois can sa tourne ek retourne ofond je me retrouve dan les chanson ki parle del mem n right now its Stand...

Stand Lyrics (Rascal Flatts)

Rascal Flatts - Stand Lyrics

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright

[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh

[Repeat Chorus]

UNDER CONSTRUCTION !!

2007-06-29T07:16:00.000-07:00

JUST WANT A WAVE OF CHANGE .. SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE :p COZ IF THERES SMTHING THATS ALWAYS BEEN A TROUBLE FOR WE THAT WAS DECIDING WAT I WANT so . its gona b like that for a wahile :P

One line post for VIJUX !!!!

2007-06-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

wifes r way better than Pc !!! :D :D

p.s at least fer zefort read sanla ek coment li :P special dedicace pou toi sa :D

The one who sits up there...

2007-06-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

Don't you ever wonder if there really is a God up there? I do...All the time. Whenever the sun shines down its brilliant light on me, everytime I see a rainbow stretching over miles, whenever a smile curls over my lips, everytime the rain splashes its pellets on my bare arm, everytime...Stunning sunsets, rousing waves, autumn leaves shyly blushing away, trees dancing as the winds sashay condescendingly...Just about everytime, each savoury moment, every flimsy second of time...

Because I believe that God lives in us...Whatever the theories, the beliefs, the arguments, the theological point of view, I have this feeling that God lives in each n every one of us. Because He can see through our angst, He can dream our dream, He knows when we have our lousy days, our bits of sunshine, our odd moments...At night He waves us goodbye but watches over us silently, hushing us away to a land of dreams...The angels gently usher us into an alley of bright colours n as we try to marvel and understand this brand new world, as we sink into a semi-coma state, our body goes to sleep...But our subconscious mind works overtime, mulling over the problems of the day: that lost file, that small argument with a co-worker, those mind-boggling bills, those hassles...Trying to find a solution...N who solves them all? I wonder...

Because I have proof that he exist...Whenever I talk to Him, he answers wholefully, He tries to cajole me, to soothe my nerves...N I know He is there for me because when I was really down the pits, He showed me the way around. He gave me my a brand new life, He blessed me with his love... For that I am thankful. That's why I thank Him for this new life, this change in destiny. I dream and He makes my wishes come true, I shed a tear, He makes me grin at the next step, I stumble, He lands me his arm for support...

Roses, sunflowers, stars so bright, rivers overflowing with desire, skies so effortlessly blue...That's His masterpiece, His magic, His craftwork...I revel in it every day...Just to thank Him...To adore Him...

Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, Allah...We call him by many names...He is one. He is great...Yes He exists...Believe in Him. He will always be the first one to give you a scond chance.

We fight over petty things...Meaningless stuff like race, colour, religion...But why can't we wake up and see that we are His children...That we all stem from His womb. Then the wars will seem silly, the terror will lose its significance. God wants to see us living like a united community, He wants us to stop committing the same mistakes of the previous generation. Let us drop the swords, put a end to hate, strife, violence, let us stop spilling the blood of our fellow neighbours...

God is good...let us imitate Him...Coz we have been sculpted n inspired from his image.

We come to this earth as strangers. Let us live each day to the fullest, wallowing in the happiness God bestows on us, basking in his blessings, learning from our mistakes, forgiving our enemies and doing a good deed everyday.

Give as the rose gives perfume...Coz it is utterly unconscious giving

L'ane tro tro ;)

2007-05-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

well we all grew up with cartoons.. that marked us.. from our age n time.. b it the fans of sailor moon or detective conan .. or yugioh lol mo croire bien mo cone ban ticomik aster impe plus coz mo ban ti comik .. nemo , cars spiderman , batman ..
those days of club dorothe or disney club, dktv, Kd2A wow those were days ..
ek guess in a way or the other.. cartoons or animes gona make up our lifes.. always..
wen u come to think abt it .. age doesnt play a much important factor does it? mo pa coner pou les reste mais mo adore guete ticomik :P
d fois plus li con ek silly plus li reste in ur mind..
surtout ban generik la .. come oui oui sa i lepok pa ti caw aret ecoute li ..
now ther seem to b a new cartoon on Mbc .. duno if u guys seen it
LAne tro tro :P
wowwwwwwwooooooooooooooooooooo this one really is cute ek so song tro bon :P
that song got stuck in my mind ..
lane tro tro
lane tro tro
tro tro rigolo :) hihihi

heres a clip of an episone :P
l'ane tro tro est amoureux :D :P

The Awakening...

2007-05-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

This life was a chaotic murmur of voices
It was just an empty, hollow, priceless shell
Left on the shore of endless time and undefined borders
There was no hope of light breaking through this bleak spell...

Brightness was gone once and for all
Tears and rain were the only saga left behind
Endless sorrow was growing high and tall
Without any ray of hope nonetheless sublime.

Joys were lost and happiness was wandering aimlessly
Lips trembling amidst a torrent of shadowy storms
Eyes twitching and shivers running stealthily
My alter-ego curled up in a narrow dorm.

Dreams long gone
Wishes and candles long burnt into the dark night
Prayers said and done
Nobody caring to see through the angst nor to search through my plight.

The fire no more lighted thousands of sparkles in my eyes
Invisible was my pain and that is how is threatened to remain...
Bottled up in some corner however much I would try
Try and bring out a muffled cry and walk on a new terrain.

Stars in my sky only hushed away in silent torpor
They didnt burst into an orgasmic trance
Nor did they bother to shed light and show some vigour.
Lost and gone were the olden days when they would break into a dance.

But along this lonely road
Amidst the blood gushing out and the pain oozing from within
Came an angel, a friend, a figure unknown
Where there was darkness, he spread his wings...

From the abyss, a new era was born out of ashes and dust
From the sadness, there sparked a renewed wave of strength
From the shadows, evolved hope's magical gust
From nothingness, there was abundance next.

A new dawn rose from what was thought to be vanished
That angel gave me a reason to tread on, found me a meaning to life
With his unconditional love, all of my fears were vanquished
I soon cast away the incessant tears and all the waging strifes.

Now the mornings would shimmer and sparkle so bright
Glad tidings would be brought in at every hour
As he scared away sorrow's companions with a grin so light
I would fall asleep in the nook of his arm and fate would never again taste sour.

My love, my soul mate, my life
How do I say the words and make it sound real?
My lover and my friend; my rainbow and my butterfly
How you delight me, cajole me and make my wounds heal...

These words that I write bear testimony to my feelings
These smiles I carry along my sleeve are a mirror of your soul
You have won over me and awakened my heartstrings
For all of this, and all that you do, I want to thank you whole.

As I sit here and remember all that we shared and all there will be
As I silently muse over how you changed the course of destiny
And how you took my hand and what blossomed that instant was hope's tree
Part of me feels so lucky, part of me feels the pangs of doubt so tiny.

That if all of this were just a dream?
What if I woke up one fine day and you were gone in a whiff?
What if I were to lose a smile so precious as yours ?
What if, what if?...

Sometimes, it seems too good to be true
Sometimes, I marvel at this crazy thing called love
The moments spent with you seem too few .. too short.
Even though I know that God blesses us from above.

You will always be my Hun
And I know that even though distance may separate us
This bond we share will be written in the golden book of memories that will help me hang on always.
We are bound to each other .. forever and a day.

Now as time has set out to test our love
Now as we are miles apart
Now as I look for the Almighty's dove
I realise that your memory is deeply embossed in my poor heart.

And as long as I go on living
I will carry the precious gem of our love safely
Along each tentative step, our promises I will keep on fulfilling...
Till death do us part, each of our vows, I will be respecting ever so happily.

Days have gone by
and it is now sending a call
A call that shows me the way home; back by your side
To make our dream a reality .

Living in the past.. memories that haunt you..

2007-05-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes its easily said than done.. let go of the past and move forward .. that where you should head to.. forget abt the past coz its all gone and never to come again.. but dep inside we all know that this very past is on waht we built up this present we now living in.. the past made us what we are today .. yet many a times we are told to let go of the past and forget it..

talking to a friend lately made me realise that no mater wat u do .. somewhere that past still hangs on to you some of us forget the bad part and rememebr only the good times of the past.. well thats exactly what should b done coz the past is over and we shouldnt lose the present over the past for that ... the past was there at one point but now what matters is the present and thats it ..
yet its so amazing how some ppl still hang and live in the past..

i mean .. do we realise that we might go on and live our ownlife .. but yet there are some ppl around us who still hang on there backwards and.. still cant let go .. we all at one point have hang on to the past and didnt wana let go of a moment be it some sweet memories of childhood we wana get back to .. or a lost love... but then .. why this.. why do we fluctuate and swing between the past and the present..

i think a lot [ zot ine bizin remarker ..like some say way to much for ur age ;)] .. mais bon.. sometimes wen i look around me and i could get lost just while thinking or observing something or someone.. and lately .. am really kind of lost..coz i fell i miss part of the past i wana get back to. i badly miss my friends of college times .. thosemomenets we shared in school at tutions.. all those crazy things we did back then .. it all comes up and lately been so damn fucking home sick and down..

then you sit back and think n realise that no mater wat the past catches up with u . whereever u might have reached... it follows u like a shadow .. some of us succeed in keeping a lap ahead of it ... while other.. lag behind in time.. and this trust me can be really hard..i miss my friends so damn much .. nothing on earth can replace what i feel for them.. all of them respectively have got an importance that is so damn great ..miss my two sweetie pie ju ek varsh .. those girls .. 7 years together.. and still till now.. went through all hardness of life together...

khev [ again ma choupinette] miss u so damn much ... those days at tuition.. been a hell lot we had together.. been talking to u lately abt those crazy moments we had and how i miss those.. b c de pire en pire .. not a day goes by that i dnt think of ya gal.. miss those days.. where we would hang out together... how those girls {qec ones} ti p trouve sa mari drole me hang out ek u ek pat ek JA.. mo ti p mort de rire mais ti bien pisser..
we had our own world ek we ruled it .. was just damn great... those were days were we had fun .. and i miss those bad..

wen i think abt it all...i miss each n every single person of that period coz that was a period where we had a true strong friendship that stood everything... and i miss those bad...

when u think abt it at the end of the day .. finally living in the past .. soothes some sore that pains in the present...
miss u all so damn much...and the past and memories .. is all i have to hang on to right now.. wen i miss u gals..

Love actually..

2007-04-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

its kind of weird.. sometimes wen u think of it .. there are some things in life that happen and the just happen and change evrything threafter..
well am sure one person reading this will surely go arrrr sanla encore li hihi well ya its 0600 am being lying in bed turning round n round couldnt get to sleep .. then been browsing around and said ok lets just watch some movies question of finding some sleep.. lol i watch two episodes of small ville then was bored..
changed watch MAterial Girls .. was pretty good pretty funny and romatic yeps am a direhard romantic and highly emotional movies addict [ does that even exist!!]
well after that movies i kind of picked up ramdomly coz yeps i still couldnt sleep so i picked up LOVE ACTUALLY..
dunno if u guys watched that movie but .. its an amazing movie.. i actualy wept during half of that film...

then wen it was over i couldnt stop thinking .. do we actually realise that LOVE is really all around but its really up to us to grab it and realise it to it fullest...
this movie made me think back aboout my whole life..
we all got friends around but real and close more i got very few very few i can actually trust in and say wats on my mind.. but the only one i can actually speak my heart of is my best friend..

reading Khev's post lately also made mem think how wonderfull life really is .. no mater wat..ups and downs .. good or bad at then end of the day .. am actually really happy with my life coz what ever it is and i actualy am is all due to wat ever happened in my life ..

all those days crazy ones i had back in highschool those days spent at Qec are always gona be memorable .. those days spent at all those tutitions .. where we had all so much fun .. those crazy days .. where stupid and still immature .. we were aso ..
ohhh check sa lhomme .. mari cocase... or pulling the legs of all those snobish girl we didnt really like .. lol those were days where you had a group of freind to hang out with .. and no matter wat you knew they were part of urlife..

Khev.. finding you after all thsoe year was really great .. brought back sweet memmories .. of life.. of how we used to have fun .. how we used to joke and make fun of everyone around.. you , me and pat.. those were days .. wen i think abt it now.. it was a diferent world.. a world where i actually had the best days of life..
wat you were at that point to me .. and how we grew up and made through the ups and downs ... that was amazing .. the days spent with Pat..it was really strange..and weird but was out frienship and realtions though that got some talks on .. we cared less coz we were linked .. and i miss that ma cherie muahhh

wen watching this movie wat striked me was that really love is all around.. you just never know where, how , when you meet someone.. that someone becomes a One.. a One who gona change ur life thereafter.. met so many ones.. the list is long.. all One played a role.. a One of a sister, a One of a brother.. a One of good friend.. a One of soulmate .. a One of my life ..

ppl come and go in life.. but at the end of the day they all bring a smile when u look back..
there are so many important ppl in life.. but you really kind of realise that wen u are far away from them .. its only then you realise their importance to the max. that without them be it significant or insignificant .. they all paly a role in ur life..

this post to
all my friends out there.. because of whom i got a reason to smile..

Khev thnx honey for having come back in my life.. am so glad i found u.. coz those days are precious moments of life ..and i hold on to them so badly..and you know it..u know y ..

to mon psi demon , Yasheelounet and mo psi zluggy ... a real bro i never had got u both to fill that up .. u both mean loads to mean and always will

Sam and ju.. sisters you are.. sisters youll remain .. coz you both know without u ill be lost..

Nubaz crew.. the list is long.. angie, ritzounet mo psi chou , morphounet, monishounete, vijux..rrrrrrrrrrr laliste tro long ek fran la i cant seem to remember the names .. but you all mean loads..

but the one who really actualy gives my life a meaning.. is my best friend.. i might not say it often enough [ hihihi :P] but without you my life wouldnt be the same..
my best friend you are my best friend you shall remain.. the meaning of friendship you showed it to me.. always standing there by my side.. never letting go..
made me realised loads of things .. helped me get back from the broken thread i was holding to ..get back from that abyss where i was slowly geting down in .. thns for having shook me back to life ..

i really believe that what evr happens happens for a reason ... its always got an anwere a cause behind.. an what ever happend had a reason and that reason was for you to be in my life.. my blessing in disguise u are.. sent from above my angel to keep an eye on me ... who really fills me up .. completes me in all sense..
my better half you are.. thnx for being the best of my life..

thnx for caring so much and for making me believe in myself whenever am down..thnx for just being wat u r to me..my perfect wish realised in u.. thnx for being my BF ;)..

merci Prav..u just make me smile again.. fell in love with life all over again..never been so damn sure about smthing in life..but to hold ur hands and move ahead the path of life together and forever with you .. is the best thing i ever did in life..

t un ange.. mon ange a moi.. merci pou toi bb..merci detre mon chou..osi bien ke HUn..
tm hun ;)

LOVE YOU ALL FOR WAT YOU ARE TO ME ..
THNX FOR BEINGS SUCH WONDERFUL FRIENDS..
THNX..

bored to death...

2007-04-22T06:14:00.001-07:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh got a paper to write that shit is due tomorrow!!!! and yet i still cant gather any courage to get myself write that crap .. just bored.. i find myself browsing around aimlesly ... facebooking and nubazing .. hell its more than and addiction and i still havent writien a word of that thingsy but am here blogging :P :P

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah someone take my laptop away its more that mere addiction :? :?

so its 14 20
sunday 22 april 2007
got an essay of 6ooo words to hand it .. havent writen even the title of the question !!!

do you think ill make it !!!

theres are such day where... bof..

2007-04-21T04:45:00.000-07:00

I glance at the clock and run a hand nervously through my ruffled hair...Another Saturday wakes up from its torpor, stretches its wings and waits for the sun to do its usual ritual. I have come to hate mornings, I who used to wake at the crack of dawn just to catch a glimpse of the sun's majestic moment as it tries to spread its enthusiatic rays around and bless the day with a spark of euphoria.

I wonder why I am no more the bubbly and effervescent girl people used to turn to in moments of gloom and despair to solve their woes. I wonder why I dont seem to bask in the wonder and magic of life anymore,not that am unhappy about life its just that i want to embrace life wholeheartedly but the distance out there stops me from doing so, why the days seem to linger into an eternity, why the clouds seem to cast a spell of gloom a tad too often...

Maybe because I was caught offguard by my first winter in Uk.

Winter-blues they call it. It WAS terrible I guess. One minute i was enjoying the sun in gud old Mauritius, my land of fantasies and dreams...n the next I was trembling from the bouts of English weather. 1 month spent in the confines of my room in manchester was enough to make me hate the cold and to cringe when morning came...

But now that spring has taken me by surprise and that the sky opens up its blue haven and beckons for rosy clouds...Life's not grim anymore...Somewhere, somehow, I have managed to fight this tug-of-war at the heart of my own alter-ego, but I have not come out of it unscathed. As exams draw near and as the stress builds up, I feel like a mere spectator, watching the sands of time slowly slip away. Positivism is like a labyrinth, Human Rights is another dark and perilous dungeon, public law is a mass of useless debris and World Legal Orders and International Political Economy seems miles away...

I am listening to The Corrs' "Everybody Hurts" and it makes me want to break down n cry. I have spent hours in the Law library after having been lazy for a month and my head aches from the amount of work still left to be accomplished. My body is waging a constant war with my mind. Part of me tells me to close the damn book and take some rest, the other wills my mind to continue playing the game. When will this be over? I was this focused gal who would finished and planned her things well in advance and watch the others getting stressed out...Now I am caught in this rat race n there seems to be no way out...

I just close my eyes for a millisecond n utter a silent prayer...Prayers too dont work these days as grim reality seeps in...I am at the cutting-edge, one wrong move, and all will be gone, one false step and it will be over...

But I take comfort in the fact that my angel watches over me. He might not be here with me, but I know that his thoughts and prayers linger on me and that as long as I have him by my side, nothing is impossible, nothing is unachievable...Because he breached the gaps, made me whole, took me in his arms and gave me wings and taught me how to fight the toughest of battles.

I love u Prav and always will:) N I am aware that the prayers of my parents are being carried from one ocean to the other and with them rests the spiritedness and courage that I have to muster for the rest of the months ahead..a last final round .. and it will be over..
so i think i'd rather writer this shitty piece of paper rather than blogging.. if only the words could flow just like that on my coursework .. wouldnt b that bad .. after all..

the pressure of exams ...

2007-04-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

the pressure of exams.......
the pressure of exams are such that u come about to a point in ur life where u stop and think ..... wine back the tape of ur life and think.....
what is life all about?? .. do we realise that we often get lost in the vicious circle of life...
we are born no time after we are put in schoools or kinder garden , we then evolve to primary life get harder as we pass through the Cpe ..... such a traumatising experience so cuch a small n tender age .... :(
we proceed in on to college along with expanding and increasing our knowledge n knowhow we let go by part of the most exciting n wonderful years of our life....
life is said to be brighter n beautiful forward ..:nono: so we just get entangled in the flow and follow the mass..
pass through another set of painful experience Sc and Hsc one more painful than the other....
yet ... we keep on going .. go and go for that goal that has been said to be heaven , freedom and all pleasure.....
then comes university ... once more we get in the illusion of that heavenly experience that supposedly awaits us at the end....
BUt is there really a heaven at the end... we keep on going the its work , ....
but ultimately
is therre that time when that so much promised land.... that dreams so much awaited and desired.....can really be enjoyed without any worries at all..
were we not fools then to have followed the trend and ended up in a way losing something , gone past the real meaning of life....
Guess these are things we think of when d presure of exams are on da head....
coz then the ultimate relaief appears as the end of exam but then comes the stress of the results....
does that ever stop ? do we ever really breath freely the beauty and bliss of life...
guess the only moment of real freeedom n bliss will be in the coffiin!!!!!!....
But then be are we sure to be freed
or will we then b preocupied abotu our next destination .....
hellll...... or .. heaven ...

think of it ...
think of it NOw
coz i have thought and ......
thers not gona be any freedom ... not now in life ...not then in death ... never
...... coz we are enslave to the biggest coloniser ever present ....
OUR , MIND OUR THOUGHTS.....
OUR DESIRE N WANTS......
WE , OURSELVES......
think ,... think...
think about it.......

The power of music ..

2007-04-12T07:28:00.001-07:00

sometimes .. when u listen to music ..dont u at one point sit back and ask .. what is music.. a symphony of notes played together.. that gives out a melody..
melodies that some times stay in ur head .. and u keep on humming that day n night..
or is it that silence u mange to hear even though there might be a lot of noise around u ..and yet u find something soothing to ur eyes..
so music wat is it ..

Music is many different things.
It can be beautiful like when a bird sings.
It can be quiet, like a mouse running on the floor,
It can be loud, like when you slam a door.
It can be short like a piglet's tail,
It can be long like a wedding dress' veil.
So you ask what music is?
You still don’t know? Then there is something wrong with your head ...

well..sometimes..notes, take form..and wen it reaches ur ears just leaves u ..wowww
breathles..some instruments more than others..
these too clips kept me awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww touched my soul..
guess instrument like the piano n de guitar always gona b my favs..